random fragments

It's about 8.30 am on Saturday, I fought getting out of bed as long as I could. I need to go to the office to get more crap done that no one really cares about, but first I wanted to share this little tidbit.

So I have tried to create a new habit (my ONLY new year’s resolution in fact – I’ve gotten realistic with old age), to type random thoughts that come to me during the day into a single document so that I can do the following:

a) Spell check (for the love of PETE, this is so crucial)
b) Reality check (is this something I want everyone on the planet to possibly see? -- yeah, I know that only 5 people probably read this, but just in case...)
c) Sobriety check (as I told my dear friend A, friends don't let friends type drunk)

On that note, I thought I would share with you some random sentences (or fragments, for the grammar freaks out there) that I have written in the past few months that were just, well, too silly for a grown up to post (stop laughing damn it!). Taken out of context, they are pretty damn funny to me, and safe to post (maybe). -- Stand by for my public humiliation/self-flogging (I do it all for you darling, no one else, I swear)...

My favorite subject line:
"I smell like someone different" -- did I really write that? OK, taken in context it wouldn't be so bad (no, really, I swear). I am not dishing the context though, it's much MUCH funnier just standing there on it's own. (Or sad, or creepy, not sure yet)
Things I've written that now make me want to cringe in shame or possibly bitch-slap myself:
"...and despite my best efforts I fell in love" -- now WTF is THAT?? Did I mention that I am NOT in the midst of puberty? OR that I’m not in the starring role in some lame ass American romantic comedy? Yes? Well then, need I say more? I'll have to show that one to the kid when she gets a little older, she will get a kick out of it.

OK, now I’m starting to hate myself just for realizing that I have written this tripe. Here’s the last one:
"there is no hesitancy in admitting that I am damaged" – OK, I had to take a moment there to stop laughing at myself. Nothing worse than shooting your beverage all over your monitor, ridiculing yourself for being such a dweeb, while sitting alone in your basement. All I can say is this, "damaged" does not even begin to describe me for one thing and I’m OK with that.

Oh boy, I would just love to get myself loaded and watch the rest of the brilliance roll in. Sheesh…